ON THE DOLE
I received my first unemployment check today. Thank you, John Q Public! I am horrified and so greviously ashamed. I feel like I let my grandparents down, even -- my grandparents who chipped cement off of used bricks so they could recycle them to build their own house! -- the ignominy is overwhelming. In all my preparations and planning for this eventuality, never did I ever once imagine I would collect unemployment. I feel sick.

CURSE OF TECHNOLOGY
In preparation for hanging with some high school homies tomorrow, I tried putting together a slide show of "Me: 1990 to 2009". Turns out, I only have photos in my computer from 2003 on. Well, no duh, right? But isn't it funny that these new fangled computers, which are supposed to make my life easier, still haven't sprouted the iArms to scan all my hardcopy photos? Hey, Steve, can you get on that?