Oh, Were You Waiting For Me To Say Something?

Believe it or not, one of my personal goals for 2012 was to write more.  #epicfail, as my BIL would say.  There's a couple of things I'm working on right now, but mostly I'm treading water until graduation in May. (At least, that's the excuse I've been giving myself to not work harder at making real change.) If I've been a bit silent here it's because I've been putting all my energy into poundin' the water and hollerin' like hell to put off the sharks to another day.

In the meantime, here's one of my most favorite songs interpreted by Bon Iver.  I think he's an interesting artist, like Rothko.  Sometimes I totally get his works, like I was struck by a tuning fork.  Other times, I think the guy is out to lunch.  I suppose that's always the way with art, no?

Let There Be Light

I will graduate with two Master's degrees next June.  I'll be done with all the requirements by May.

This year, I will also turn 40.

With two such milestones within six months, I feel like these events mean more than their individual accomplishments.  I feel like I am simultaneously on the verge of great change, but also small movements.

Clearly, all this Meaning of Life reflection is a sign my psyche is ready for big change, and I am getting ready for a new plan.  Watch this space...

Halfway

Saturday marked the half-way point in my Master's program.  The last two weeks have been a bit brutal with way to many rolling deliverable deadlines at work plus, for school, one 2hr final, a group presentation, and two 6-page papers all due this weekend.

Honestly?  I totally phoned it in this block. (<-we call them blocks in this program as opposed to semesters or quarters).  I did none of the readings, sat in the back, and only spoke up enough to get the full 10% credit for class participation.  In spite of this approach, it was still a grueling grind to get to yesterday.

To charge my batteries, I shopped in the Italian market and bought some sausage, fresh pasta, and two kinds of chai, came home, borrowed the neighbor's dog for 20" of fur therapy, ran 3 loads of laundry, got caught up on 30 Rock and Parks & Rec, and fell asleep on the couch at 8:30pm reading a trashy novel.  Today, I slept in until 10am (10!  whoot!), did my exercise tape, cleaned out my closest and bureaus to switch over to summer clothes, cleaned the bedroom and the bathroom, and bought tons of starts from the local home store.

Now, I'm writing this insanely boring blog post and next I'm going to see if I can find the ukulele sheet music for the theme from Bob's Burgers.

Seriously?  My life is so unbelievably perfect right now.  /sigh

photo credit

You, either.

I definitely got my money's worth from school today.  Have you ever heard of "fetal rights"?

One of the professors described a story of a woman who was pregnant and who had syphilis.  She was at risk of passing the disease to the baby (see congenital syphilis). The woman refused treatment.  The state threatened to intervene and force treatment upon her to protect the fetus.  The woman relented.

I can't get this story out of my head, so I tried duck duck go!-ing it tonight. I wasn't able to find the exact news article, but my search provided this new term: fetal rights.

I have mixed feelings about this, as I'm sure many of you do.  Public health and human rights is a very tangled web to unweave.  In the interest of keeping it friendly here, I'll keep those feelings to myself. But please feel free to drop me a line with your thoughts and I'll share.

The Most Expensive Movie I've Ever Seen

I'm in graduate school for my second degree, this one in public health.  It's an executive program tailored for working professionals so we only meet for one day out the month for four months.  While we meet all day on those days, every hour is precious.

Imagine my sputtering disbelief when during February's class we watched a documentary movie for an hour and a half!



I'm surprised the professor would hesitate to assign the movie as homework.  We are regularly assigned reams of reading outside of class that we never seem to have time in class to discuss.  The day's agenda was provided beforehand, I was researched the movie and history of the controversy before class (duh.  that should have been the original assignment!).  During movie time, I pulled out my work laptop and got caught up on some minutes and other project management minutiae.  I figured I could put in a solid 30" while everyone watched.  However, after an hour, it was clear we were going to watch the whole thing.  I was so aghast that I took a picture:

That's the professor in the purple sweater at the front, also watching the movie.

At better than $1100 for each of these four classes, this is by far the most expensive movie I've ever seen.

Worse?  This is the *second* movie we've seen.

For shame!

*Specificity of Association

Since you asked...

There are a few rules to follow when trying to prove causality.  Say, for example, I observe that it rains every time I wear my pink suede shoes. 

Is there a causal link between wearing pink suede shoes and the weather?  

This guy, Sir Austin Bradford Hill, put together a list of associations that should be checked when trying to prove causality.   These rules (they're called Bradford Hills Criteria, btw) are:

1. Temporality
• how quickly after I put the shoes on does it start to cloud up?
• This is not a big requirement so much anymore, either, depending on what is under discussion.  The temporal association between smoking and lung cancer, for example, is so disparate to be almost nil.
2. Strength
• a mathematical measurement of correlation
3. Biologic gradient (aka dose-response relationship)
• does it rain all day if I wear the shoes all day?  does it only rain for half the day if I wear one pink suede shoe and one sneaker?
4. Consistency
• does it happen every time or only some times?
5. Biologic plausibility
• This would be something like "the color pink is on a light frequency that attracts water droplets and suede makes water droplets condense," e.g., a scientific reason for why pink shoes make it rain
6. Specificity
• does it always rain or does it sometimes get foggy or even snow?
• This is considered the weakest criteria b/c there are lots of cause and effects that don't seem to make any sense, especially in biology.  For example, a concussion will make you cranky (i.e., physical injury results in behavioral symptoms)
7. Experimental evidence (aka effect of removing the exposure):
• does it stop raining if I take them off?
8. Alternate hypothesis or analogy
• is there any other possible explanation?
9. Coherence
• is there anything else like this in the known universe that operates similarly?

Wrong Answer

I got a few questions wrong on the quiz for my epidemiology class.  That's nothing new.

The quiz is administered during the first 15" of class and we get them back, graded, at the lunch break.  I spent the break reviewing all my wrong answers.  There was one that troubled me because I could not recall ever having seen the right answer.  When reviewing my text book for where the material was covered, I discovered this:

Specificity of Association is the weakest proof of causality*.  Says so right there in black and white.  Clearly, a week ago, I thought this was so significant that I highlighted the damn thing.  I still got the wrong answer.  Grrrr.

Lately, I would attribute this phenomena of knowing the material but not being able to recall it part of "the memory loss."   However, I'm comfortable with writing this off to bad study habits!

The Life Span of a Bad Idea

As a project manager, I spend a lot of my time "herding cats" as they say:  corralling Information Holders with Decision Makers into one room so they can tell Operationalizers what to do to make it all happen.  My favorite part of this exercise is when the combination is just right, and the team starts to feed off itself and gets really creative about problem solving.  Depending on the meeting, it's my job to moderate and add gasoline or cold water as needed.  I always struggle with the cold water part.  When I hear hooves, I think "zebra" not "horse" and am deeply sympathetic towards not-obvious solutions.  Still, when it's time to call it quits on a bad idea, it's usually because of some operational issue (costs too much, lack the technology, not enough manpower), and not because of anything personal or political.

For school, I was reading about the yellow fever epidemic in Philadelphia in 1793.  The American Revolution had been supported by France and Louis XVI, but when he was executed a number of people from France and the French Indies immigrated to the US and into Philadelphia...right as the epidemic was gaining steam.  This led a two disparate beliefs about the source of the fever.  Federalists (pro-Hamilton, anti-French) believed it was an imported disease (i.e., brought by French immigrants).  Republicans (pro-Jefferson, pro-French) believed it had a local cause due to poor sanitation (think "miasmata" and "effluvia").  At an impasse, actions were take on behalf of both theories:  immigrants were quarantined and the city organized better sanitation.  Win-win, right?

There were also two schools of medical treatment for the fever: bleeding + mercury or quinine bark + wine.  The bleeding treatment was championed by a preeminent Federalist doctor.  Hamilton, in a misguided attempt to show his support behind his doctor friend, politicized the treatment issue with an op-ed piece very complementary of the doctor and the treatment.  Suddenly, it became a Federalist thing.  When other doctors tried to declaim the bleeding treatment, they were labeled as pro-Republican and anti-Federalist.  The problem with this conflict was that the bleeding treatment required the doctor to "draw an amount of blood which we know today to be in excess of the quantity possessed by most people."*  But, because it had become a political issue and was no longer a medical issue, doctors and patients couldn't step back from the bleeding theory or switch to quinine bark without signaling disloyalty towards Federalists and favor for the Republicans.  Dumb, right?

It got me thinking about the life span of bad ideas.  What's the tipping point between exploring an idea and beating a dead horse? (<-to bring back the equine metaphor)  When have you persisted in something after it was out of favor (poor fashion decisions, excluded)?

*Pernick, MS. (1972) "Politics, Parties, and Pstielence: epidemic Yellow Fever in Philadelphia and the Rise of the First Party System." William and Mary Quarterly, 29(4): 559-586.

GPOYW

Me and Dr. Robert Sharrar, co-worker/friend/mentor at Drexel MPH invocation

And Then There Were None (Credits Left)

Graduate Quarter Summary

		Attempted	Earned	GPA Hours	Quality Points	GPA
Current Term:		6.000	6.000	6.000	24.00	4.00
Cumulative:		33.000	33.000	33.000	131.01	3.97
Transfer:		0.000	0.000	0.000	0.00	0.00
Overall:		33.000	33.000	33.000	131.01	3.97

This concludes my foray into the social sciences. 


Next up on the 5-yr plan?  A Masters in Public Health!  Beginning this Friday.... 

Flowers in the Attic

Tomorrow morning at 5am, My Beloved and I have a hot date in the attic.  Literally.  We're doing the last push to get the new insulation down.  It's gotta be over 95* up there now and at least 92* outside.  Two words: butt sweat.  No matter how much you're in love, that's just plain not attractive.  I'll do it, though, and gladly, if it means we can finally (!) turn the air on.  My fingers and toes have been the size of little sausages since Memorial Day.

In other news, my work on my independent study is going swimmingly with only two meetings under my belt.  See, it's all about finding something that is interesting to me.  I can't imagine the "rhetoric of defeat in science" holding my attention for long, but for the next 11+ weeks (or until we've exhausted all publication options or have had it accepted for publishing) it will be enough.  Of course, this has spurned yet another round of fantasizing what my life would be like as an academician and wistful longings for the days of gentlemen (or gentlewoman) scholars.

GPO my garden returns

Show Me the Data

I am challenging myself to not check out of one of my classes.   The focus of the course is on how to design documents, and we're learning a lot about how to do that.  For my money, however, I want to know which design elements to include to effect change and comprehension in the reader.  I understand no one will read my document if the colors, font, etc are off putting.  However, show. me. the data. that says complementary colors hold attention twice as long as contrasting colors.

I sent the professor an email with an article form the NYT that summarized a recent paper in Cognition about this very thing.  I've even brought it up in class, now, because I think it is an important caveat to what we're learning.

Now?  Now, I've moved to the last row of the class.  I'm trying to reconcile myself that what this guy is selling, I'm not buying but it's still worth my time (and money) to attend.

 How have you challenged yourself to be patient?

Want Milk With That?

The past few weeks have been increasingly challenging as my school work ramps up.  The assignments are stimulating and not overburdensome, but they do take some time.

I spend much of my time worrying about time.

I'm not sure if it is a function of being old(er) or pathetically out of shape (or both), but small things take more out of me.  Earlier this week, I spent part of the day at the client's site.  The few hours of being "on" just wiped me out.  I mean my tank was on E.  Not half-full.  Not low.  E.  As with the school work, I love interacting with clients, but there is a price to pay.  And it is higher than it once was.  Like my laptop, I take longer to recharge than I used to, run down faster, and make a lot of loud, grumbly noises of protest.

Tonight is a beautiful evening:  high 70's, light wind, glowing sunset and all of spring just bursting in color.  I picked fresh arugula and spinach from my garden, ate some leftover pasta, and while feeling completely put upon, tried to relax by the TV.  I got caught up in a show on the Independent Lens about garbage pickers in Brazil.  They "work" at the dump collecting recyclables, which they trade in for money.  All of the women interviewed for the show spoke of the pride they feel in this honest work and, in spite of the smell, were grateful they had an option besides prostitution.

And here I sit, feeling so beleaguered by my homework, while I eat fresh produce, a home-cooked meal, and ponder what my well-stocked kitchen might contain for a little dessert. I think I'll have a slice of humble pie.

In Session

I enrolled in two courses this term and, boy howdy, I sure am creating some space under my shrink wrap. One of the courses is "writing intensive" and the other is just plain cool and awesome and let's me work with a not-for-profit and call it a class assignment.

I am also, simultaneously, trying to lay-in some serious ground work on the independent study I want to do over the summer with the professor for the plain cool and awesome class. We/I am going to try to develop a short writing assignment I completed for another of his courses from two terms ago into a full paper.  At the time, he had encouraged me to consider publishing it and offered to supervise my efforts as part of an independent study.  But work, and winter, and oh-my-gosh-that-will-be-so-much-work! However, since I'm trying to "create space" to prepare for the second Master's program I'll be starting in the fall, I decided to go for it.  When I approached him last week, he commented that he was really disappointed I hadn't been more enthusiastic about it at the time b/c he thought it was such a good idea.

While it is still just as much work as it was before and nothing else in my life has changed besides the weather, the more I think about writing this paper, the more excited I am.  How cool would it be to be published in multiple genres: molecular biology and rhetoric!

Truly, my genius knows no bounds.

SPRING BREAK!!!!!

Classes resume in T-10 days.  Goals until then:

• crochet two baby blankets for twins due in July
• clean out my closet and recycle clothes
• plant the garden (!!!)
• lose 10lbs
• get ahead on all my projects at work
• learn a really good song on the ukulele
• finish all outstanding projects ever started
• transform my life

You don't think I'm over planning this, am I?

Distractions

I came home from work early tonight specifically to finish my final paper for class.  However, I checked my personal email before beginning and found this note from The University:

I am emailing you from the Drexel Fellowships Office because of your outstanding academic record. If you are interested in studying, doing research, or teaching English abroad, then keep reading. The Fulbright and various UK Scholarships provide funding to outstanding students to do just that.

I realize this is an auto-email and, while I do have a 3.94 (stoopid A minus!), there is nothing else this person knows about me to suggest I would be an appropriate candidate for a Fulbright or Rhodes scholarship.  I have a full-time job and a family.  Of course, that doesn't mean I couldn't take a sabbatical and bring My Beloved with me.  And, thus, I have spent the last 20" reading about applications and grant offerings instead of compiling my thoughts on the use of attitudes towards laws on pornography as a predictor of political conservatism.  Ugh!

Going the Wrong Way, Part II

While the rest of the nation digs its way out of debt, overspending, and maxed out credit cards, I have spent days hunched over this glowing screen trying to figure out how to fund this dream come true.

We are not hurting by any stretch of the imagination, but four years of tuition in 15 months is just a bit quicker than I can rustle up that kind of coin.  That new car will now be a graduation present to myself (thank goodness I held off on the purchase!).  Fancy vacations will be put on hiatus because I won't have the time to take them anyway.  And now would be the time to finally take my household budget seriously.  Surely there must be scholarships available for middle age white women, right?

Persistence Repaid

This is what I saw in my inbox this evening:

We have determined that we would like to move forward and have you begin classes in our program starting in the Fall of 2011.


Thank you, Jeebus!  I am overjoyed, relieved, grateful, and so, so happy!

You're Going the Wrong Way!

Planes, Trains & Automobiles

I'm going about this all wrong.

If there's one thing that Hollywood has taught me, it's that with enough grit, hard work, and the right soundtrack, I can overcome any obstacle.  Lesson internalized?  Check!  However, the lesson I need to learn is how to work better with what I have.

At the Super Bowl party this weekend (at which I won twenty dollars!  whoot!), a friend shared her favorite saying from her sons' daycare:  You get what you get and you don't get upset.  So, The University won't let me do what I want.  Deal.  There is time, now, before the MPH starts, during in the Spring and Summer quarters to pack away some extra Communications courses.  I can pick up the 4 or so remaining classes within 6 mos after the MPH is over. What's the rush?

(Um, Hi.  I'm Juliane.  Apparently we've just met.)

In the face of this bureaucratic challenge from The University, I could zig and simply go to another school.

Gary "Figgsy" Figgis: You don't go down Broadway to get to Broadway! You zig! You zag! 

However, part of the award from the Masters in Public Health program, much like an MBA, is the contacts and relationships that are created.  I'll miss out on that opportunity if I complete an online program.  

I should embrace the challenge I am in and not be so focused on the one which lies ahead.  How can I appease the administration while forging ahead with what I want?  Not everything I'm going to learn through this adventure will be taught in the classroom.  The lesson is in the journey, right?

And So It Begins

I am presently trying to enroll in a Masters in Public Health (MPH) program at the same school where I am also pursing my Masters in Science Communication.  Yesterday, I contacted the Office of Graduate Studies to learn how to apply.  I was emailed the names for the advisor for the Communication program and the advisor for Public Health and told they could help with the process.

Tonight, my message to the advisor for Public Health was returned with this snarky missive:

Jill - I'm not quite sure why you're emailing me on this issue. I am the director of the MS in Public Policy, which is obviously different from both the MPH and the MS in COMM.  My guess is that you should contact [the] Office of Graduate Studies

First, my name is not Jill.
Second, the Office of Graduate Studies told me to contact you
Third, there is confusion about what, exactly, it is that you teach.  I suggest you confirm your area of expertise with your employer.

Turns out, I can't do it.  Quite literally, there is no process to pursue two, independent degrees simultaneously.  I have the option of combining them into a dual degree program (not possible with the MPH curriculum), or I can pursue them consecutively.  But, the university bureaucracy is so broken that it cannot accommodate more than one degree record at a time, and, so, it is either one at a time, or combining them into one.

Pardon me while I gape in awe at my inability to convince this esteemed institution of higher learning to, for the love of Fred, take my money.

http://www.thebadchemicals.com/?p=431